Ta Voix

INT. SMALL LONDON APARTMENT – LATE AFTERNOON

Late afternoon in the int. of a small London apartment. OLIVIA, a woman of around 25, tall and thin as a stick insect with sarcasm as her mother tongue; MAEVE, her roommate, also around 25, robust and wide as a rugby player but delicate and naïve. They have been best friends for as long as both can remember and fall under the classic stereotype of ‘the muscle’ and ‘the brain’; CAMILE, upstairs neighbour, pretty, and curvy blonde girl, a bit of a prude but always sweet.

OLIVIA hums happily while preparing a cake
mixture 

OLIVIA

Two cups of sugar, a cup of milk…

MAEVE

(slams open the door)

OLIVIA!

OLIVIA turns away from her baking, startled by a heavy thump on the floor.

OLIVIA

What the… is that…? Maeve, what the hell have you done?

MAEVE

No, listen, listen to me… I was just there and he came and I was like “‘What?”’ and then he did that…

(exaggerated arm flicks)

MAEVE (CONT’D)

…and I didn’t know what it meant so I got scared and I had just bought this wonderful piece of ham and I was holding it… Next thing I know he’s on the floor.

Silence falls between them as they stare at each other for a bit, until Maeve sighs heavily, while dragging the body to Olivia’s feet and closing the door. 

OLIVIA MAEVE

So… I…

OLIVIA

Oh, you go first.

MAEVE

No, please, you go first.

OLIVIA

(her voice is exasperated, though she appears calm)

Why is a seemingly dead man on the floor of our kitchen?

MAEVE

(looking down at the pale, motionless figure at her feet)

I just told you!

OLIVIA

You just mumbled a story about a ham, which was, in fact, not clarifying at all!

MAEVE

I was very meticulous…

OLIVIA

No, you were not…

MAEVE

…about what happened… it was all so fast…

With the initial state of shock  beginning to fade now, OLIVA’s face starts to turn red with anger and confusion.

OLIVIA

SHUT UP!

MAEVE

DON’T BE SO RUDE! I’M GOING THROUGH A TRAUMA!

OLIVIA

(taking a deep breath)

Could you explain to me what
happened in more details, please?

MAEVE

Okay, so, I had just got off the bus on my way home with my newly bought ham for tomorrow night’s dinner when this man approached me, and you know it’s quite a dark winter night and I forgot my glasses so I saw a dark blur coming towards me…

OLIVIA

(pause)

…I see where this is going…

MAEVE

…and he did some gestures like he was swimming butterfly style at me and tried to touch me so I hit him with the ham and while falling he hit his head on the bar of the bus stop and dropped to the floor all unconscious…

OLIVIA

(pause)

… and you had no better idea than to bring him home.

MAEVE

(bluntly)

Yes.

OLIVIA

(circling around the body)

And what did you even think of doing with it?

MAEVE

(scratching her head)

I don’t know… hide it? Maybe… destroy it?

OLIVIA

(silently screaming)

Are you stupid? Have you not learned anything from all the CSI you’ve binge-watched since you were 15!? You DON’T bring the body into the house.

MAEVE

(screaming, but less discreetly)

I didn’t know what to do! You’re the smart, cold-hearted one!

OLIVIA

What do you want me to do? Put it in the fucking oven?

MAEVE

I have no fucking idea, Olivia!

OLIVIA

How can you be so stupid?

Someone knocks on the door, OLIVIA and MAEVE jump in surprise and stare at the body.

OLIVIA

(whispering)

In the broom cupboard! Quick, you stupid, clueless arsehole!

MAEVE

(swinging the body over her shoulder and shoving him into the cupboard one limb at a time)

Don’t insult the poor dead man!

OLIVIA frenetically looks at both the cupboard and entrance door, steam coming out of her ears as she tries to make a plan.

OLIVIA

Maybe if we stay very quiet they’ll go away…

CAMILE

(rambling from outside the door while knocking again)

Hey guys, I can see the light through the door! Open up please, I know it’s late but I’ve got my niece’s birthday tomorrow morning and I forgot until now! I am so desperate, please?!

OLIVIA sighs and scrubs her face with her hands, hoping to get the astonishment off. She goes to open the door to find CAMILE standing nervously in the doorway.

OLIVIA

(trying to block any view of the flat)

Camile! Hi! What did you say you need?

CAMILE

I was just wondering if you’d let me borrow some cake moulds really quick for my niece’s birthday tomorrow morning?

OLIVIA

Yeah, sure let me go get them for you…

MAEVE 

(appearing in the background in an attempt for normality) 

Hey, Camile!

CAMILE

(pushing past OLIVIA and running to MAEVE’s bear hug) 

Oh Maeve! It’s been so long, how are you?

A loud crash comes from the broom cupboard. OLIVIA and MAEVE quickly look at each other.

CAMILE (CONT’D)

(stepping cautiously back from the hug)

What was that?

MAEVE

(laughing nervously)

I’m sure it’s just the foxes!

OLIVIA

So you needed moulds, yes, stay right there. I’ll bring them to you.

CAMILE

(still puzzled)

It’s okay I know where they are, I can grab them myself.

MAEVE

(quickly positioning herself in front of CAMILE)

NO DON’T! That’s okay, Olivia will get them.

The cupboard door swings open and a pale hand drops to the floor.

CAMILE

(screaming) 

What is that?

OLIVIA

(screaming at MAEVE) 

You know you have to push the top of the cupboard to close it properly!

MAEVE

(screaming) 

I’M GOING THROUGH A TRAUMA.